


With New Eyes I See You

by SPowell



Series: Merlin_Writers Holiday Bingo series [9]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: First Time, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Protective!Arthur, University, bottom!Merlin, dub con, top!arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:57:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPowell/pseuds/SPowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Arthur finds out Merlin's lost his virginity to someone who treated him less than he deserved, he sees red. He also realizes Merlin is more than his best mate.</p><p>Reworked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With New Eyes I See You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Merlin writers holiday bingo prompt: stuffing--yes, I kind of cheated here. I used it as a verb. This isn't even a Christmas fic!

“Oh, my God, if I ever have to play that fucker Valiant again, I will quit the team. I swear it!” Arthur throws his athletic bag into the corner of the room and flops down in a chair. He looks over at his flat mate and best friend, Merlin, who sits on the couch, picking at a hole in his sock.

“You always say that. You’re team captain; you won’t quit.”

“I just might this time,” Arthur grumbles. After a moment, he looks at Merlin more closely.

“What’s wrong with you? You seem a bit stroppy,” Arthur says.

“Thanks.” Merlin rolls his eyes. “I’m fine, tosser.”

Arthur continues to grumble, staring at the ceiling, which has a tiny crack in it. He suddenly remembers that Merlin had a date the night before.

“How was it with what’s-his-name?” Arthur asks. “Sinbad?”

“Cenred,” Merlin corrects. He shrugs. “It was all right.” He gets up from the couch and walks towards his bedroom. Arthur watches him go.

“Are you sick?” He calls after him. It’s unusual for Merlin to be moping about. “Don’t you have a class?”

“Maybe I’m coming down with something,” Merlin says. “I’ll get Will to take notes for me.” He disappears into his room, shutting the door.

The next day, Merlin seems better, and Arthur heaves a sigh of relief. He doesn’t like it when Merlin’s sick. Merlin’s always the one who takes care of things; who always has a smile or a cheeky word. Arthur’s usually at a loss except when it comes to business-minded sorts of things, and he’s come to rely on Merlin as a sort of fixture in his life over the five years they’ve been friends.

Arthur gets a call from Percy, who says Valiant’s team has challenged them to a match that weekend, so they spend every evening for the rest of the week practicing, and Arthur sees very little of Merlin.

It’s during the victory celebration at their favorite pub that Arthur again notices that something’s up with his best mate. Merlin’s being quieter than usual.

“Merlin,” Arthur corners him in the loo, a hand on the wall behind Merlin’s head. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, I was taking a leak,” Merlin snaps. “Do you mind? I’d like to wash my hands.”

“Yes, I mind,” Arthur doesn’t move. “I want to know why you’ve been moping about, and you’re going to tell me.”

There it is--that cornered look Merlin gets when he’s trying to hide something, particularly from Arthur.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Merlin says, raising his chin. He’s a bit taller than Arthur, and he tries to use it to his advantage, but Arthur’s got more brawn. He leans in, crowding Merlin to the wall.

“Merlin, tell me,” Arthur demands.

Now Merlin won’t meet Arthur’s eyes.

Someone walks into the rest room, giving the two of them a dirty look before turning to the urinals. Arthur straightens up with a sigh.

“I’ll find out, Merlin. You might as well tell me.”

Merlin moves past Arthur to the sink. “Nothing’s wrong, Arthur,” he says stiffly. “I’ve just had a lot of school work, and I’m tired.”

“Quit lying to me!” Arthur sets his jaw firmly. “This is your easiest course load yet.” He stares at the back of Merlin’s head. When Merlin doesn’t reply, Arthur growls and walks out of the room into the crowded pub.

He locates Will, whose chatting up a bird at the bar. Grabbing him by the collar, Arthur yanks him to a booth in a secluded corner.

“What’s up with Merlin?” Arthur asks without preamble when they're seated.

Will smooths down his shirt, his face the picture of annoyance. “You outta know; you live with him.”

“Quite. Now that we have that established what we both already know, answer my question.”

Will shrugs. “Don’t know, actually. All I know is he’s been quiet ever since he went out with that Cenred bloke.”

Arthur pauses, thinking. Will’s right; Merlin started acting strangely after that date.

“If you want to know what I think…” Will pauses.

“Oddly enough, I do want to know,” Arthur says, leaning forward.

Will gives an insulted huff, but he glances across the bar at where Merlin sits slouched with the rest of their group, staring into his pint, and says, “I think Merlin lost his virginity that night.”

“What?” Arthur sits up straight, alarmed. Merlin’s his best mate. If he’d lost his virginity, he would have told Arthur, right? “What makes you think that?”

“I…dunno,” Will says, unhelpfully. “I could be wrong. I hope I am.”

 

Now that the seed’s been planted, Arthur can’t get it out of his mind. He finds himself watching Merlin, constantly wondering. Finally, Merlin calls him on it.

“Is something in my teeth, or what?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at me. A lot. Am I sprouting wings?” Merlin stares at Arthur, exasperated.

Arthur blinks. They’re in the living room studying, and Arthur suddenly realizes that his text book has slid off his lap and onto the floor. He has no idea when it happened.

“Merlin…”

“Yes?” Merlin closes his book and waits.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Merlin sighs. “Not this again. Arthur, nothing’s wrong.” He gets up and crosses the room, heading for the kitchen.

“Merlin, did you lose your virginity?” Arthur asks, and Merlin stops dead in his tracks.

Arthur slowly gets to his feet. “You did, didn’t you?” He walks over to stand behind his friend. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks softly. “I told you when it happened to me.”

Merlin shoulders begin to shake and he crosses his arms over his chest, clamping onto them with his hands. Alarmed, Arthur reaches out to him. “Merlin?”

When Merlin turns around, his face is wrecked. “You were sixteen when it happened to you, and I didn’t tell you, because it was bloody awful!”

Arthur lets out a small sound as Merlin catapults himself into Arthur's arms. Arthur holds Merlin tightly.

“What happened?” Arthur asks, a tiny seed of fear mixed with anger blooming in his center.

Merlin is crying. _Crying!_

Arthur slides his fingers into Merlin’s thick hair. “Merlin? Tell me.” Arthur’s heart beats faster. “Tell me!” he demands.

Merlin hiccups. Voice trembling, Merlin says, “He was…rough.”

Arthur grabs Merlin’s shoulders. “Did he force you?” He looks into Merlin’s eyes. “By God, I will kill the bastard!”

“No,” Merlin shakes his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. Arthur begins to tremble.

“No, Arthur,” Merlin sniffles, looking almost as alarmed at Arthur’s reaction as Arthur feels. “He didn’t; I swear. I wanted to do it. But, it wasn’t like I thought it would be. It hurt, and it was too…fast.” His face falls. “I just didn’t like it at all.” Merlin bites his bottom lip to stop its trembling. “Why wasn’t it any good? I thought it was supposed to be good!”

Arthur feels his heart breaking into a million pieces. He cups Merlin’s face in his hands, brushing the fast-falling tears away with his thumbs. “It can be, I promise. You were with the wrong person—a real tosser from the sound of it. Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry.” He pulls Merlin into a tight hug. “I wish you’d told me.”

“I was ashamed,” Merlin mutters into Arthur’s shoulder.

“But why?”

“You’re good at everything you do,” Merlin says.

Arthur barks a laugh of disbelief. “No, I’m not! Well, maybe I sort of am, but what’s that got to do with anything?”

“The first time I have sex, and I’m twenty-years-old and pants at it,” Merlin mumbles.

“No, the other guy was pants at it,” Arthur says. “Merlin, you could never be bad at sex. Look at you—you’re so—so—“

“What?” Merlin asks, tears abating a little.

“So damn sexy!” Arthur says, realizing it’s true. “Any bloke would be lucky to take you to bed.” He presses a kiss to Merlin’s forehead. “And that Cenred plonker is going to pay.”

“No, Arthur,” Merlin grasps Arthur’s arm. “Don’t do anything, please.”

Arthur doesn’t say anything else, only gives Merlin another hug.

***

Merlin isn’t surprised to spot Cenred across campus the next day sporting two blackened eyes, nor is he shocked to see him go out of his way to avoid crossing Merlin’s path. Arthur’s knuckles are red when Merlin gets home that afternoon, but he won’t do anything but glare when Merlin tries to accuse him of accosting Cenred.

Merlin’s heart expands every time he thinks of the way Arthur held him after Merlin told him what happened. Merlin never imagined his best friend would react quite in that fashion, particularly the part where Arthur called Merlin _sexy_ and said that any bloke would be lucky to take him to bed.

It had put ideas in Merlin’s mind that he couldn’t get rid of. He found himself looking at Arthur in a new way. Sure, he’s noticed plenty of times that Arthur is a gorgeous bloke and incredibly fit. He’d have to be blind not to. But from the very beginning of their friendship, Merlin convinced himself that he was out of Arthur’s league, and he never visited the idea that they could be more than best mates. If Arthur had ever thought about it, Merlin never had a clue.

What would it be like to kiss Arthur? Merlin already knows what it feels like to be held in his arms—the word magical comes to mind, as over-romanticized as that sounds.

When Merlin mentions to Arthur that a bloke he met on campus asked him out, and Arthur reacts in an oddly possessive manner, insisting that Merlin give dating a rest for a while, Merlin begins to wonder if Arthur could possibly harbor some of the same feelings for him.

“Arthur,” Merlin says one night when he’s been musing over the subject of sex, “can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Arthur answers, rummaging in the fridge for something to eat.

“Which do you like better, being a top or a bottom?”

Arthur stills, and Merlin stares at his arse, round and sweet and perfect in his gym shorts.

“Uh, I’ve always topped.”

“So, did you know what you were talking about when you said it could be good?” Merlin asks casually. “I mean, I’ve always had this fantasy of a bloke stuffing my arse with cock, but after Cenred…”

Arthur hits his head on the refrigerator in his haste to straighten up.

“My partners have always enjoyed themselves,” Arthur assures him.

Merlin looks at Arthur with wide-eyed innocence. “As far as you know.”

“I would know if they didn’t, _Mer_ lin!” Arthur insists. “Just as I’m sure that dolt Cenred knew you weren’t getting anything out of it!” Arthur clenches his teeth.

Merlin looks away, and suddenly Arthur’s in his face, his spicy cologne filling Merlin’s nostrils. “Merlin, it can be good. I may not be an expert on bottoming, but I know it can be.”

“I’m scared to ever try again,” Merlin admits. He hadn’t meant to say that, but it’s the truth. Even if Arthur's the one he does it with.

“It has to be with someone special,” Arthur tells Merlin. And then, to Merlin’s shock, Arthur leans in and kisses him.

The kiss is good. Very good. Merlin wants more, his body naturally leaning into Arthur’s. He threads his fingers in Arthur’s hair, so soft. Arthur slips his tongue into Merlin's mouth, and Merlin moans.

“I’d make it good,” Arthur tells him when they part, and Merlin nods.

It should be weird, being naked in your bed with your best mate’s fingers sliding inside you, but it isn’t. Arthur spends so much time kissing Merlin silly that what he’s doing down there barely registers until he begins hitting that _spot_ , and _holy shit!_ Merlin almost comes off the bed.

“You’re so fucking hot, Merlin,” Arthur groans into the crook of Merlin’s neck, and Merlin almost believes it; Arthur’s so hard against Merlin’s thigh…he’s dripping onto it, so there must be something to what Arthur’s saying.

“Arthur,” Merlin moans, searching for Arthur’s mouth again. Arthur kisses him and adds another finger.

By the time Arthur turns Merlin onto his side and presses into him, Merlin’s a trembling mess of need. He arches his back, pressing his arse into Arthur’s groin, his leg draped over Arthur’s hip. He looks down their bodies into the full-length mirror at the foot of the bed, watching Arthur’s wide cock pushing inside him and a shudder of desire runs down to his toes. Arthur's good at this; Merlin knew he would be. But a part of Merlin knows it's because it's _Arthur._

Arthur's hand runs up Merlin's belly to tweak a nipple, making Merlin jerk. When Arthur returns his hand to Merlin's cock and begins a delicious serious of tugs that have Merlin thrusting up into them, Merlin cries out and comes.

“Fuck, Merlin,” Arthur buries his face into Merlin’s sweaty neck, his body stiffening as he comes. He slowly relaxes, pressing a kiss to Merlin’s ear.

Merlin’s whole body tingles, his head feeling as though it’s disconnected from the rest of him. Arthur remains buried inside him until they both calm completely, and then he gently pulls out, taking the condom off and tying the end.

“Are you okay?” he asks Merlin softly.

“More than,” Merlin answers with a soft smile. “That was…so much better than the other time.”

“It sounds like almost anything would be,” Arthur quips, tossing the condom in the trash and lying down again. Merlin turns in the bed to face him.

“Maybe, but this was brilliant.” He kisses Arthur. “I hope it wasn’t a pity fuck.”

Arthur’s eyes widen. “What? No! No, Merlin.” Arthur looks down. “I think I’ve fancied you a while. It’s just…kind of hard to tell your best mate that.”

Merlin grins. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

“I wish I had been your first.”

“Look at it this way,” Merlin says. “Imagine what a great lover you seem compared to him.”

Arthur raises a brow. “Merlin, I assure you I don’t need a point of comparison to prove I’m an amazing lover.”

Merlin makes a noise of derision. “Prat.” He kisses Arthur softly, then nips at Arthur's bottom lip. “I can still be your first…the first to top you.”

Arthur stares at Merlin a moment before pulling him over to rest his head on Arthur’s chest.

Merlin's fingers curl with Arthur’s as they shift about, getting comfortable.

It doesn’t go unnoticed to Merlin that Arthur didn’t say no, and he smiles as he drifts off to sleep.

_finis_

 

 


End file.
